Just Like Heaven by Hannah Morpeth

Ellen Ward has been my best friend for the best part of 7 years; we bonded over being equally socially awkward in year 9 drama class, neither of us succumbing to the pressures to prance around like a melodramatic fool. Ellen Ward has an irrational fear of dish-washed glasses; would have breakfast 3 times a day if it was up to her and is an insane girl racer. And now she’s unconscious in the hospital bed in front of me.

 

Day One

 

The nurses have told me I should talk to her because some people can hear you apparently and it might help; so I guess I should give her a responsible best friend talk about now:

“For fucks sake Ellen, let this be a lesson to you that you’re not invisible. It’s like you’re still 5. Green means go. Red means stop. Wake that lazy arse of yours up so we can have this conversation properly.”

 

Day Two

 

“I managed to get in touch with your mum yesterday, she sends her love from Uzbekistan or wherever the hell she is these days. She said thanks for letting her know. I think she might actually be starting to like me.”

 

Day Three

 

“Doctors have said you’re doing well, that’s making me even more sceptical of the NHS, well, you’re still fucking unconscious, I do not deem that as well. I have a selection of cereal for when you come around: Special K, Cheerios and Coco Pops, I assume the hospital have shitty Weetabix, which you rightly point out taste like shredded cardboard.”

 

Day Four

 

“Sorry. I ate half of the Coco Pops. I promise I will replace them if you greet me with your conscious presence. Please? If you don’t hurry up I’m going to go crazy off having conversations with myself. Apparently your SATS are okay, I’m not sure what that means, maybe I should have done medicine rather than music. I reckon the pay may be better too.”

 

Day Five

 

Ellen’s mam texted me today, definitely in there with the family now. So it may only have said “How is she?” But I reckon that is a sign that she is starting to like me.

 

“Apparently your mother is in Armenia, she asks how you are, no sign of her arriving here any time soon though, looks like I am stuck eating the Coco Pops alone for a little while longer, that is unless you’d like to make an appearance. The nurses are telling me to try music, I am not quite ready to make a fool out of myself by singing to a person who is not even listening. This is all in your plan isn’t it? Make James make a fool out of himself and then I can use it against him for an eternity. Yeah well it’s not happening.”

 

Day Six

 

“It is unfair for you to ever use this against me, it was not my decision, it was the bloody pushy nurse, watch out for her when you wake up, she’s the one that looks like she’s been around since the 19th Century.”

 

“Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream” she said
“The one that makes me laugh” she said
And threw her arms around my neck
“Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I’ll run away with you
I’ll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
“Why are you so far away?” she said
“Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you
That I’m in love with you”

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

 

“Okay, so I didn’t really think that through, Just Like Heaven, please return to earth not heaven. The ancient nurse also did not seem to care for it, I can’t decide if it was because of my singing and terrible guitar playing or the song itself. I’m hoping for the song.”

 

Day 7

 

“It’s been like a week now, I know you’re lazy but this is taking the piss. I am almost finished the Coco Pops and am not buying any more. HA! There will be no singing today, I fear the old lady smashing Felicity the Fender to pieces and I’m not sure I could take that kind of heart break. On a more serious note, I really need you to wake up, the Doctors aren’t saying much at the minute. Please help me here.”

 

Day 8

 

I’m getting sick of the walls now, I’m tempted to decorate, on second thoughts the crazy nurse may have something to say about it.

 

“All of this waiting about is giving me far too much thinking time. You’re the best friend in the whole world and I never actually tell you, I have no idea where I would be without you, I’d imagine you would be in Serbia with your mum or something like that, but instead we’re stuck in a two bedroom dingy flat with an income similar to that of a Big Issue seller’s. Maybe I will start playing guitar in the hospital for tips, is that taking advantage of people? Does that really matter?”

 

Day 10

 

“I’m not gunna lie, I went to the pub yesterday, yes for the majority of the day, no not on the pull. I slept in until1, look what all of these late nights at the hospital have done to me! I went out with James and Andrew at about 2, had a few pints at the coast and then went to open mic night. I know what you’re thinking, you shouldn’t go there half cut, and for your information I was not half cut and I bet nobody tells Axl Rose to not have a pint or two. Okay so I’m not quite at his standard but whatever. I sung acoustic versions of Sweet Child of Mine and Hey There Delilah, I got £10 in tips, not too bad. Somebody asked where I’m doing my next gig, please wake up and help me organise it. So, you been up to much while I was away? Sorry, not funny right. I will go now before I bore you to death. Shit. Sorry.”

 

Day 11

 

“Have I really got to sing again? This takes the piss, I am holding you responsible when that crazy nurse smashes my guitar over my head and I end up in the bed next to you.

 

Talk to me softly
There’s something in your eyes
Don’t hang your head in sorrow
And please don’t cry
I know how you feel inside I’ve
I’ve been there before
Something’s changing inside you
And don’t you know

Don’t you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don’t you cry tonight
Don’t you cry tonight
There’s a heaven above you baby
And don’t you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye
Don’t you take it so hard now
And please don’t take it so bad
I’ll still be thinking of you
And the times we had…baby

And don’t you cry tonight
Don’t you cry tonight
Don’t you cry tonight
There’s a heaven above you baby
And don’t you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember how I felt inside now honey
You got to make it your own way
But you’ll be alright now sugar
You’ll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don’t you cry tonight
And don’t you cry tonight
And don’t you cry tonight
There’s a heaven above you baby
And don’t you cry
Don’t you ever cry
Don’t you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don’t you cry
Don’t you ever cry
Don’t you cry
Tonight

 

That’s your lot babe, no more embarassing myself, don’t want people getting the wrong idea, so far I’ve been your husband and your brother. Bad times.!

 

Day 12

 

“Sorry, it doesn’t have to be the wrong idea if you don’t want it to be. This lack of reaction is making things very difficult for me now. You could be my sister, or my husband if you want? God, this is too weird. Bye!”

 

Day 13

 

“Your condition is improving. Thought somebody should inform you seen as you’re still unconscious. Ha’way, please wake up I actually think I am going nuts, the cat is even avoiding me now. I have a new reason for you to wake up today, I’m not sure we can afford to feed you up again, your bony ass is getting bonier by the second in this hospital bed and we have like no money; you need to wake up and make the most of the hospital food, it’s the best you’re going to get.”

 

Day 14

 

“Fuck yeah, stirring means you’re going to come around soon babe. You have no idea how happy this makes me, this also means you can probably hear what I’m saying now so there will be no more song dedications. I don’t mind you knowing how much I’ve missed you though, you really are the best thing in my life. Tomorrow is the big day babe, you just wake up for me”

 

Day 15

 

Ellen Ward is quite possibly the only person who can look beautiful after waking up from a 14 day coma. She’d been stirring for almost a day before greeting me with her huge green eyes.

 

“Did I miss much?” She asked me.

 

“Not a thing.”

 

I kissed her and to my surprise (also to the surprise of the nurse from the stone ages) she kissed me back.

 

Ellen Ward only eats sandwiches cut into triangles; never wears matching socks and should hopefully now take notice of red lights. Ellen Ward is my perfect girlfriend and best friend.