In It For The ‘Likes’: 12 Ways To See If You’re Obsessed With Facebook by Hannah Johnson

 

Anxiously waiting after posting a Facebook status, you re-read it a million times, you know it’s funny and that people will love it. You’re heart races as you continually press F5, desperate to see a glimpse of the little red ‘one’ that tells you, you have a notification. It has been exactly three minutes since you posted the status. Still no ‘likes’. You re-read it. It’s clearly not as funny as you thought. Should you remove it? No, you wait it out. You go and get a drink, hoping that in the meantime thousands of fellow Facebookers have seen the status and have ‘liked’ it, maybe even a left a cheeky comment. You wipe your sweaty palm on your already sweaty jumper. Nervously you press F5. Relief takes over as you see the little red ‘one’: two people have liked your status. Success.

As an eighteen year old student, I understand Facebook, I honestly do – it’s a great way to stalk ex’s, find out gossip about randomers and discover what the majority of your ‘friends’ are currently watching on television. Thrilling. However I have noticed recently that we are becoming far too Facebook-orientated.

Facebook was originally invented for middle and older aged people to find long lost friends or old school friends to re-unite, socialise and see what they are currently up to. However teenagers have decided to steal it instead and become incredibly obnoxious and unsociable about it.

Facebook is a genuinely a great way of socialising, especially when joining a new school or just trying to meet friends. Being a Uni student, I find it great being able to post into the group that was created for my course to ask questions about exams or essays that we have to do. It is also great for when you want to organise a large event and don’t have the money to send fifteen different texts and then responses to the responses of those texts. It is also great being able to share photos, this way my friends and I don’t have to sit round a tiny camera screen just for us to look at last night’s pictures.

If people used Facebook purely for this reason, then I would be happy and this article won’t have been written. But recently I have noticed completely unacceptable things happening to the world of teenagers, and that is how obsessed they are becoming with Facebook.

12 ways to see if you’re a Facebook sinner:

  1. Being with friends and checking your Facebook – not just for notifications but also your news feed.
  2. Being so excited to tell someone about a change of relationship status between two people you barely know and/ or don’t know.
  3. You write on someone’s wall whilst still with this person.
  4. They comment back immediately.
  5. You post on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s wall telling them how much you love them because it is so romantic.
  6. You spend ages thinking up a funny status just to get as many ‘likes’ as you can.
  7. You delete a status if you feel it didn’t get enough ‘likes’.
  8. Actually taking time out of your day to take photos of yourself for a new default. In these you shamelessly pout and show off just enough cleavage to get both boys and girls ‘liking’ it.
  9. You write on someone’s wall rather than texting them.
  10. You post a status about the weather, despite everyone having a window and being able to see the weather themselves.
  11. You post a pointless status about your awesome day, tagging all the people you are with. That way all of them will ‘like’ it and everyone on Facebook will know you have friends.
  12. Checking Facebook first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Also maybe every few minutes throughout the day. Just to see if anyone has posted an extremely important status, or a relationship status has changed.

Since when did it become socially acceptable to be with your friends, be in mid-conversation and for the person you are with to get out their phone, keep nodding and check their Facebook. (They didn’t even have notifications they were just idly scrolling through their news feed!) It’s great knowing that my story was so thrilling that they couldn’t pay attention for more than three minutes. It is a complete insult to the people you are with to check Facebook, unless the people you are with are incredibly dull, in which case I suggest you find new friends (and I don’t mean Facebook friends). Next time you are with a group of people, see how many of them and how often they check Facebook. The higher the number they get, the more they need a life.

In addition to this, the amount of times I have seen friends being with each other and for one of them to post on the others wall. It’s normally something moronic like ‘Lol you just tripped over haha xoxox’ I am pretty sure that you said that to the person in the room about 30 seconds before posting that status. The only reason people ever do something as stupid as this is to prove they have friends. It’s even more mortifying when the person they are with comments on that status almost immediately; resulting in the two of them commenting on each other’s status despite being in the same room.

Another classic is when you’re with a group of friends and one of them can’t wait to tell you about the change of relationship status of those people that you think maybe went to your school. It’s ten times worse when they all agree, resulting in you spending about an hour of your life discussing the life of this couple, despite never speaking to them before in your life and probably never wanting to.

Another highly irritating thing is when people write on another person’s wall ‘check your phone.’ First of all if the person uses Facebook on their phone then they are probably going to read the text before they read that message. Second of all if you know that the person is on Facebook on a laptop or computer, perhaps a message or going on chat would be a better option than simply saying that so that everyone knows you have friends and have a social life.

Couples, particularly new couples are also incredibly annoying and shouldn’t really be allowed Facebook. It’s great that you’re together and in love but do you really need to post little hearts on each other’s wall telling them how much you love them? I’m pretty sure it would be more romantic in person. Unless you’re desperate enough to make sure the whole of Facebook knows you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

The amusing of all these Facebook Sinners are those that are in it for the ‘likes’, whereby they carefully think for days upon days of an awesomely funny status to post so that loads of people will like them. Most of these people also delete statuses if they don’t get enough ‘likes’. These are shameful people.

So come one guys, let’s not become obsessed with Facebook. Let us remember what the real world is actually like – remember fresh air, speaking out loud to people and not needed to see what boring things other people are doing. Let’s go back to being socially normal.